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Why Farts Smell – Blame it on Your Mother


Ever wondered why your farts smell? Well when a child asked this question, The Freaky felt compelled to investigate and discovered its all to do with your mother.


Your mother is responsible for the smell of your farts.

Honestly.

Like a signature or a fingerprint, the smell of your emissions is unique to you. And the main affect on your farts smell lies in your mother’s colon and the circumstances of your birth.

When you were passing through your mothers vagina during birth ,you were infected by the bacteria in her colon. That bacteria, which you keep for life, are the main source of the unique smell of your gaseous emissions. And what your mother ate prior to going birth will affect the bacteria you get.  But don’t believe us listen to Dr. Lester Gottesman, a proctologist from St. Luke’s Roosevelt. 

“A baby is born with a sterile intestinal track.” says “During the delivery, there’s lots of fluid and stool and whatever, and it’s thought that at that exposure the baby’s colon is populated by the mother’s colon bacteria, thereby affecting the smell of the individual’s farts for the rest of their lifetime. “There’s also other theories claiming the colon is populated during the first few months of exposure to fecal material, but that probably doesn’t affect the smell as much as the initial intake of feces by the baby during delivery.”

Your were clean and then you became infected. It’s like original shit sin.

Interestingly, no two farts are exactly the same. Think of them as invisible smelly snowflakes. This is because the bacteria inherited at birth provides the base note of all your gaseous emission but the subtle, or not so subtle, variations are down to what you eat.

The smell has to do with the amount of absorbed products like methane, which is made by fermentation of what we eat, and that’s what causes the bad smell, basically.” says Dr Gottesman. “Also, everybody is different in how they’ll digest wheat products, milk products, whatever. And if they are not digested properly there will be a lot of methane produced and a lot of acid, and that would tend to cause a stinkier bowl movement.

“Farts are made by two things. They are made by one, the amount of air you swallow–so people who drink a lot of soda, chew a lot of gum, suck on candies, they get a lot of air into their colon, and that air comes out in farts. The second component is gas production by the colon. The colon’s job is to break down the nutrients in food products, like proteins and fats and sugars, and in the process of breaking them down they produce either sulfur or methane, neither of which smell great. If, let’s say, the colon has stuff in it like grapes and beans, and if it’s just sitting there for a few days it’s just going to ferment more and more until it becomes very smelly, versus if what you eat goes through quickly–like if you had the same beans, but it came out eight hours later, you’ll tend not to have as much gas from those beans. So it has to do with what your intestinal transit is. For most people, it takes 32 hours from the time they eat something to the time they shit something. That’s the average, so that means there are people who move their bowels every three or four days, and they have more time for the beans to ferment in the colon, thereby producing larger amounts of gas and more frequent, smellier spasms of gas.”

Scientific research is also throwing up reasons for the appendix says Dr Gottesman.

“The appendix keeps an arsenal of bacteria so that if, for whatever reason, the bacteria in your colon gets killed by antibiotics the appendix can repopulate your colon with the bacteria that you’ve had since birth. That’s the new thought as to why the appendix is around.”

And if you were wondering how long its takes a fart for, Dr Gootesman, our go to guy on all things of a fart nature, says it take about 30 hours to produce an emission as it has go pass through 5 feet of large intestines and a further 25 feet of small intestines.

 

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